i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
worst night to have a conscience
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
