brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
