Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
40s are totally the cure
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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