god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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