you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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