so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
