Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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