Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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