Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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