did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
