I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I smell like Dick and happiness
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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