Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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