Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think people are normalizing furries
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
