why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have post one night stand depression
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
