What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
