I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
