i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
