Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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