Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
