Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
