I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
