Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
