i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
