Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
