sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
3pm strippers are depressing
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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