I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
