There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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