Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
