you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
