i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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