Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
