all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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