I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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