all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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