It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
