I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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