Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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