That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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