Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
