If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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