I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
