Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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