I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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