Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
