And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
