i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
