Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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