I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
