Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
