i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
