Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
someone owes me an orgasm
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
