Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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