We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
