so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
