OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
