if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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