i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
